Finding Light in the Darkness: Lessons from My Journey

There's something profound that happens when you find yourself in the absolute darkest moments of your life. Not the kind of darkness that comes from a power outage or a cloudy day, but the soul-crushing, breath-stealing darkness that makes you question everything you thought you knew about God, about purpose, about hope itself.

I've been in that darkness more times than I care to count. Shot before I was even born. Lost my mother when I was just a child. Walked streets where violence was a daily reality. Served in wars that left scars you can't see. Watched relationships crumble and dreams die.

But here's what I've learned in those dark places: darkness isn't the absence of God. It's often where we meet Him most intimately.

The Voice in the Darkness

Throughout my memoir, I share moments where God spoke directly into my situation with the words "I was there." Not "I will be there" or "I might be there," but "I was there." Present tense. Already present. Already working. Already weaving something beautiful from the broken threads of my story.

When I was that grieving child, trying to make sense of loss too big for my small shoulders to carry, He was there. When I walked through school halls feeling like a ghost, He was there. When bullets flew in Iraq and I wondered if I'd make it home, He was there.

The Light That Breaks Through

The light doesn't always come as a dramatic sunrise. Sometimes it's as simple as a grandfather's weathered hand on your shoulder. Sometimes it's the discipline found in JROTC formation. Sometimes it's the realization that the very pain you've endured has equipped you to help someone else find their way.

Every kid I mentor now, every young person who hears my story and realizes they're not alone – that's light breaking through darkness. Every time someone reads about my journey and finds hope for their own, that's redemption in action.

Your Darkness Has Purpose

I'm not going to tell you that everything happens for a reason in some neat, tidy way. Life is messier than that. Pain is more complicated than that. But I will tell you this: nothing is wasted in God's economy.

Every wound becomes a window into someone else's pain. Every scar becomes a roadmap for someone else's healing. Every broken place becomes a doorway for grace to enter – not just for you, but through you to others who desperately need to know they're not alone.

Your story isn't over. Your darkness isn't the end. The God who was there in my worst moments is there in yours too, writing a story of redemption that's still unfolding.

Keep walking. Keep believing. Keep looking for the light. It's coming.